Yet Another Fresh Start

Yesterday was cycle day 1 of cycle number 9 since quitting The Pill last November. No messing around this time with “Does this count or doesn’t it?” – a couple days of light spotting, and then definitively CD1 yesterday. That means last cycle was 54 days, and I’m two for two on CD1 coming the third day after the last dose of Provera.

So here’s my concern-of-the-moment and the argument I’ve been having with myself. I’ll be doing round 3 of Clomid this cycle. The doctor instructed me to up the Clomid dosage to 150mg per day since I didn’t get anywhere with 100mg. Ok, fine, but this is going to be the first round of Clomid taken in combination with Metformin. (Ok, I’m just going to call them C and M now to save myself some effort and to lower the spamminess of this post.) Theoretically, if M is effective, I don’t need to increase C – at least, that’s my line of reasoning. So I should ignore the doctor and take 100mg of C like last month.

Then again, it seems to be that the benefits of M for PCOS aren’t typically seen for 60-90 days, so if I’m going to have a shot this cycle, I can’t count on that to help out so I might as well increase the C dosage after all.

But, I tend to be scientifically-minded, and if I’m treating my body as an experiment (and let’s face it, I am), then best practice is to only change one factor at a time. So I should keep the same dosage.

Then again, last cycle I explicitly declared that I didn’t give a crap about the scientific method, so why should I start now? So I might as well increase the dosage.

But, it seems logical that if C increases the chance of multiples, then more C would mean a higher chance. And I would really like to avoid multiples if possible. So I should keep the same dosage.

Then again, I asked Dr. W that question, and he said it doesn’t increase the risk. So I might as well increase the dosage.

But, Dr. W is an idiot and I really have a hard time believing anything he says. So I should trust my instincts and keep the same dosage.

Then again, he has a medical degree and years of experience, and all I have is Google and pregnancy forums, so I should just shut up and listen to him and increase the dosage.

But, the internet said (though in 10 minutes of searching, I can’t seem to find it again) that sometimes patients who haven’t had success with C alone do have success with C+M even with lower dosages of C, so I should keep the same dosage (or even go back to 50mg and start over as if it’s a brand new experiment).

How about my emotions expressed by strangers’ babies?

baby shrugging

Photo by Susan Sharpless Smith via Flickr's Creative Commons

Any thoughts from the crowd?

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8 thoughts on “Yet Another Fresh Start

  1. well, i guess it depends on what you are considering your Goal this month. in your writing before, you said that maybe that goal should be to get your cycles back on track and not necessarily to get pregnant (though one would have to come before the other, of course). And you’ve expressed some anxiety about upping the clomid on more than one occasion. Sooo… maybe trying the lower dose of clomid will satisfy you that it is or isn’t the right way to go, without worrying so much about whether conception is achieved this cycle?

    The question there, of course, is whether or not you’ll feel like you’ve wasted a cycle if it doesn’t go as well as you hope. I totally, totally understand the tug of war between wanting to remain as sane and in control of your body as possible and just wanting to fucking throw everything you’ve got at it, never mind the damn scientific method.

    Is the likelihood of multiples really that much higher between the doses you’re considering? Also: I COMPLETELY understand not wanting multiples… having said that, i’m learning very quickly that the reality has a lot of warm and fuzzy to go with the ultra scary 🙂

    And lastly, since i didn’t get a chance to comment on the last post yet: i am right there with you in Hairy Land. I’m an ape. I have all the same hair in all the same places. I finally got comfortable enough with r to stop worrying about yanking the nipple hairs at first sight sometime last year (it never bothered him as much as it does me)… though i still take care of them pretty much asap. And my little “love trail”? It basically looks like my pubic hair extends all the way up to my belly button. Seeeexy!

  2. This is a tough one. For me, personally, I hate not doing what my doctor instructs me, because then what if he or she tries to change things based on the results – when they don’t know what I *really* did with the drugs. I understand your concern about multiples, though. Good luck with your decision, looking forward to hearing what happens (and I’m hoping for a fabulous ovulation and then a BFP!)

  3. i just had to tell you that i had a dream last night that your next post was that this was the cycle, you’d gotten pregnant and had found out by early ultrasound somehow (??) and they thought they saw two yolk sacs…
    that being said, ALL of my dreams last night were twin dreams and included such weirdness as me being a surrogate for someone who looked suspiciously like angelina jolie. Still, i had to share.

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