Too Early For PMS

Two days ago, I was exceedingly rude to everyone in my general vicinity for no good reason. Then Hubs made me go to the farmers’ market, which I hate anyway because it’s way too crowded, and most everyone there is either witheringly righteous over their all-organic lifestyle and oblivious to the outside world, or smells like they haven’t showered since 2007. Plus the produce is neither better nor cheaper than at the Whole Foods a mile away. (Hubs really wanted pickling cucumbers and WF didn’t have any.) As I was feeling the panic attack welling up in my chest, up walks my semi-friend Z and her husband T, with their brand new stroller and their brand new daughter. We hadn’t met the baby yet, nor did Z make any sort of offer to open up the stroller cover and let us take even the teeniest peek. Maybe she could tell how spazztastic I was with the market mayhem, and they didn’t want that energy around their one-month-old; I guess that’s fair, but come on, at least make up an excuse about how she’s “finally asleep” or something… It was awkward in an I-guess-you-had-to-be-there way. I tried to make a joke and wound up insulting them instead, then finally I just gave up and escaped to the car with my bag of cukes. I think I sat on the couch and played a stupid game until 9:30 when it was just barely late enough that I could go to bed without feeling like a loser.

Then yesterday I kind of felt lousy off and on throughout the day, including a touch of what seemed an awful lot like the menstrual headache I regularly get. Today is better except that I’m extremely sleepy. The pattern is very much like my normal PMS routine – but it’s only CD22 today, when my last several cycles have been in the over-30 day range, so PMS at this point seems kind of dumb. I want to blame it all, all the early PMS signs and everything else that is slightly off, on the Clomid. But I just have no idea what part of the hormonal weirdness is innate to my uterus and what part is artificially introduced. The medication hasn’t even worked. The OPKs I showed off were the closest to positive that I’ve gotten, and they have been more conclusively negative since then. No excitement in my temperature chart, either. The spotting I keep complaining about continues to come and go without any rhyme or reason, just irritating inexplicableness. It could all be stress, maybe? We’re going out of town this weekend, and then having two different sets of house guests next week; plus tomorrow is the day Hubs is supposed to hear where the Navy is sending us for his next duty. I have been freaking out over it, while Hubs is annoyingly zen and will barely bother to even speculate with me.

Damn, that was some whiny, trivial crap. Sorry for making you listen to me bitch about basically nothing – but it’s my blog and I’ll bitch if I want to. At least you can tell why I’ve been slack about blogging. It would be better if I was funnier. How about some visual interest? Other people’s babies encapsulating my emotional state?

Pouty baby

Cranky face, from Jippolito via Flickr's Creative Commons


4 thoughts on “Too Early For PMS

    • It was more of a sarcastic remark than an actual joke… It went approximately like this:
      T: So do you guys frequent the farmers’ market?
      Hubs: No, Chloe hates it.
      Me: The crowd is kind of overwhelming for me.
      Z: Me too. Though now I can just take the stroller and run people over.
      Me: Well now you’re part of the problem.

      I would not otherwise be concerned about offending them, but this couple is very sensitive and we already went through this whole high-school-esque drama where both of them de-FaceBook-friended both of us, and we kind of got past that but not totally. T got upset last year because Hubs told him his Halloween costume was appropriate. So I really should know better than to let something dumb like that slip out because it just might be taken literally.

      But dammit, if she can sarcastically say that she’s going to smack her baby into people, then I can sarcastically say that’s bad behavior!

  1. haha! chloe, i’m totally on your side. r actually stares people down quite evilly when their strollers take up too much room on the sidewalk/in the grocery store aisle. etc. (oh, you should see the twin side-by-sides. ouch.).

    why do you have to blame it on anything? can’t you just be a bitch some days? i certainly can be. plus, hasn’t it been like a million degrees in every part of the country? maybe it’s the heat? it definitely sounds like you have some legitimate stress concerns, too. give in to it, eat a shitload of salt and chocolate, and feel better when you damn well want to!

    • Sadly (or not!), no, I can’t blame it on the heat. Coastal California is apparently not susceptible to global warming! But you’re right, I shouldn’t need to blame it on something. I just do. I’m a compulsive blamer.

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