To think I had worried about finding subjects to write about while I’m at Archives Camp, and on my little break. As it’s turned out, I have barely had a minute to sit down at the keyboard. This course has been mentally exhausting, and I have been involving myself in a healthy amount of socialization with the group as well. I can honestly say that I have been thoroughly distracted from the majority of pregnancy obsession. It’s been nice.
Nice, because the lack of time and energy to think about pregnancy and the absolute focus on academic matters means that I am far less worried about my misbehaving uterus than I would be if I was at home right now. If it were a normal week and I had spent the past several days at my normal desk at my normal job, I probably would have been drilling Doctor Google relentlessly and working myself into a frenzy. I am still having spotting. Still. It’s CD 15, for god’s sake. I had a week of spotting, then I had a normal-looking full flow for a normal number of days (5) – it was not especially heavy, pretty easy on the cramps, no major headaches or weirdness – and then the brown spotting resumed. And hasn’t gone away. It has appeared to be going away, twice, to the point where I almost felt comfortable without any means of sanitary interception, and then, my uterus goes “Ha ha, just kidding” and it starts right back up again. Off and on yesterday and the day before, I had some pain with it, too. Nothing severe, really: somewhere between “I wish I hadn’t done those 50 crunches” and “I wish I hadn’t eaten that second bowl of chili.” But neither of those is true, and given the context, it’s a little disconcerting. When I had light bleeding for weeks on end right after I quit the pill, I had just assumed it was due to quitting the pill and that it was relatively normal. Now that the scenario is repeating itself, I’m less convinced.
So, I’m glad I already made that OB/GYN appointment. I’m less glad that it’s not for over a week after I get back home. Meanwhile, I’m going to continue exploring the world of archives and enjoying this fabulous city, instead of fretting myself into a deep, dark hole of anxiety and self-loathing.
On the bright side, my BBT has been the most stable I’ve seen in the first half of any cycle since I started charting. So, there’s that.